My Broken Heart (by Mama)

It has been almost four weeks since Eliza and Jordan made our family complete. Gigi had been waiting for months for her baby brother and baby sister...kissing them every day, sometimes more than once a day. We were so happy the morning they were born, except that their Daddy was missing because he was on his way back from visiting his parents in Florida. But, we knew we would all be together soon and when we were, it was perfect.


My world came crashing down around me six days later. I still wonder if this is all real. Eliza was just perfect. She was the spitting image of Gigi at her age. She had such soft features and blonde hair. She was going to be the perfect younger sister for Gigi and Jordan.


I am so sad. We are so sad. And yet, we have so much to celebrate. How is it possible to celebrate and grieve all at the same time? For the past three weeks, I have chosen to celebrate Jordan and all that is good in my life. It was easier to do because I had my parents here with me. And, although there was nothing specific that they have done, the fact that they are here has been a crutch for me to lean on....and has enabled me to be strong and continue living life in spite of the fact that I am dealing with probably the worst grief I will ever have to deal with....burying a child and saying goodbye before I barely had a chance to say hello.


Tomorrow, my parents go home. And, I feel a little bit like a young child...worried that I won't be okay without them. In reality, I know I will be okay. I have to be. But, honestly, I am worried about how I will handle it when Gigi brings up Eliza. She hasn't done it often, but she still does on occasion. I worry about when she wants me to read the story about Dora the Explorer who need to get home because her Mama had twins (a baby brother and baby sister). Time is supposed to heal, but somehow I wonder if time will make it more real and therefore hurt more.

Eliza and Jordan...

Today (like every day this week), I visited Mommy and my brother and sister in the hospital. Mama told me that baby brother and baby sister have names, just like my name is "Gigi". This is Eliza (Elizabeth Joy)...

She is already ready for a manicure!

"Talk to the hand"...

This is Jordan Alexander (formerly known as "Baby Brother"). I love him so much.

Isn't he cute?

Mama and I spent some time feeding our babies and then cuddling our babies. I tried both breastfeeding and bottle feeding my baby. I was making a message (means drawing a picture) for baby sister, Jorliza. Everyone started laughing. I guess I combined their names. Later, when Mama asked me what Baby Brother's name is, I couldn't remember.....I said "George?" "Curious George"?

Mama, Jordan and Eliza come home from the hospital tomorrow and we are going to spend the whole weekend together. I am so glad they will be home....where they belong....with me!

Introducing....

Baby Brother and Baby Sister!

Baby Brother, born 6/22 at 7:04 am, weighing 5 lbs, 14 oz and 19 inches tall....AND

Baby Sister, born one minute later at 7:05 am, weighing 6 lbs, 3 oz and 17 inches tall.

My family!

More news to come, including names and other details...

I'M A BIG SISTER NOW!

You raise me up...

You raise me up,

so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

I love you, Daddy. Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day Grandpa and Pepa!

Finally - Strawberries and Tomatoes!

We bought our tomatoes and strawberries on the same day we bought the flowers we planted on Mother's Day weekend. Today, we finally planted them. But, before we planted, we ate two YUMMY very sweet straweberries that were already ripe and ready to eat from one of the strawberry plants. I will report in as our tomatoes and strawberries grow in this perfect So Cal weather.

Last Day at Blueberry

Congratulations, Meazi!

You did it! Next stop: kindergarten :) You are going to have to give me some tips to make it through preschool :)

And a few bonus pictures of Meazi's cute brother...