I have the same wish, Gigi

Mrs. P has brought wonder and imagination into the classroom as usual this week by having a leprechaun make overnight visits to Gigi's class.  This inspired Gigi to want to make a leprechaun trap and catch a leprechaun for St. Patty's Day.  I had no idea where to even start, so I reached out to my friends on Facebook and got all kinds of ideas and then there's Google.  Ultimately, Gigi made up her own way for the trap and I took her lead.

Mrs. P said that leprechauns like "plain" popcorn.  Gigi wanted to make green popcorn.  Our first try failed.  We added green food coloring into the olive oil and then popped the corn.  No go.  The second time, we took the corn and added green melted butter.  We don't usually eat our popcorn with butter, but this seemed to do the trick and Gigi is sure that the leprechaun "will love it".

We added the corn to gold mini cupcake tins and made a trail to the trap with a big green bowl of popcorn in a "rainbow box".  The box is held up by a green stick.  Once the leprechaun is so busy eating the popcorn, he will surely run into the stick and be caught!

While we were in the garden in the afternoon, Gigi found many dandelions and thought that she needed a trail coming in from behind the trap just in case the leprechaun missed the green popcorn.

As we were making the trap this morning, Gigi said that she is going to wish that Eliza comes back.  And she is sure that the leprechaun will say "Granted!"  Gigi has had Eliza on her mind....She is on my mind every day and I surely would wish the same if only I knew that the wish could come true.  This week, during time with her friends in nature, she brought up Eliza....she was with two friends who have no siblings.  Gigi said that she doesn't know where Eliza is, but she is real.  Her friends didn't know about Eliza.  Gigi, I wish for her to be here, too.  I am so sorry you can't have her here with you.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Jordan!

Two years already?  How do we describe our Jordan?

He has a crazy sense of humor for a 2 year old....

he is sweet and caring, always giving hugs and blowing a kiss ... even to inanimate objects when he is walking away from them,

he ADORES his sister, Gigi....he wants everything she has and wants to do everything she does.  He was the porter for her suitcase above (pink) to Maui and was SO happy to have his own.  It was a gamble because there was a chance he would STILL want Gigi's suitcase.  He does what she does, including jumping off the back of our headboard onto our bed.  It is so sweet and luckily, Gigi is sweet on him, too (most of the time).

he just started to love to read....as long as the book is about trucks....or animals....or babies.  He received many truck books for his birthday and loves reading them.  Oh and he likes Elmo, too.

As I said he, adores his sister and copies everything she does.  Jumping on the couch and acting like a nut at 7 am.

On his second birthday (Friday), we went to the LA Zoo.  This was Jordan's first time and he loved it.

He refused to go in a stroller.  He walked or he ran....

He doesn't stop moving....he wants to "walk".  He loves riding his tricycle and is really good at it.  He got a scooter for his birthday but still needs to learn how to steer.  I can only imagine a year from now.  We will probably only let him on it with a helmet.  Perhaps we should start now.

Jordan is an explorer with a curiosity for everything.

He LOVES his Daddy.  The disappointment on his face if I come home from work soon.  Running to the door, thinking it is Daddy.  But, it is "just Mama".  Okay, so he doesn't say that but his face does.

After the zoo, we went to Gaby's, but Gigi stayed at the zoo with her friend, Nyla, to soak in the rest of the animals.  Jordan was desperate for a nap so we left and had lunch.

Jordan had a yummy cupcake on his actual birthday and a cool birthday cake when we celebrated with friends.

 Eliza's Garden is in beautiful bloom a year after it was planted.

We have water!

A year or more after we planted the garden, we finally have water for the beautiful fountain my friends bought after we lost Eliza. Thank you, Pepa, for making it happen!

Eliza's Garden

Eliza

Tomorrow is a day of mixed emotions. Our Jordan will turn 1. One year ago, I woke up Gigi at 4 am to go to the hospital with my Mom to deliver our beloved babies. Gigi drew this picture last week at school (on a Monday). She knows Eliza is part of our family....even a year later, she remembers her and talks about her (a lot). Most of the time, she will name a baby doll she is playing with or a squirrel or a butterfly Eliza. She uses her name frequently while she is playing.

It has been a long time since she asked where she is or whether she could visit her....but she did ask last week if we could visit her. We all miss Eliza and on the eve of her birthday, I think of how happy I was the hours and days following Jordan and Eliza's birth. My family was complete. I was lucky to have ended my struggle to be a Mom with such an incredible family. A hole will always be in my heart, but luckily, I have Gigi who will always keep trying to fill the hole by keeping Eliza alive for me in a beautiful way.

Mother's Day...

This Mother's Day weekend didn't turn out as we had planned. Gigi planned to visit her Mema (and Pepa). She was so excited. Had her bag packed and was asking from 8 am yesterday (flight left at 2 pm) if I could bring her and Allen to the airport. Allen had been having pain that he self-diagnosed as a kidney stone(s). After some back and forth with me (he wanted to see his Mom and didn't want to disappoint an excited Gigi), he decided it was better for him to stay put instead of getting on a 5 hour flight. Disappointment abounded, but Gigi will go, just not when she thought she would.

In the meantime, my sore throat became "sorer" on Saturday so we were a sad family....neither parent able to really parent (luckily, Grace was supposed to be here for a few hours so that I could get in the garden.) This morning, Allen felt better enough to put together Jordan's new car that arrived on Friday. Do you think he likes it?

And, when Jordan was napping, Gigi and I escaped to the garden. She brought her new tools (part of my Mother's Day gift -- thanks Grace!) and helped me weed and then searched for critters with her magnifying glass.

Gigi took a short break to make a picture for Pepa, though she then called it her "map to Florida". Can you tell this girl is bummed?

Here is a sneak peak at Eliza's garden. It is almost done....we ran out of mulch! The right side of the house (outside the wall) also still needs a bit more weeding, but we are probably 80% there.

It felt so good to spend my day this way...with my sweetheart daughter....toiling in the soil. Ironically, after she was done with gardening, she was pretending and pretending and when I asked what she was doing, she said she was pretending she had two older sisters. I couldn't hear all of the conversation, but what a sweetheart.

Now, all we need is a little more mulch and a little more time....oh and some water for that beautiful fountain (thanks, Duckies!) and our garden will be "done".

Not sure if you can see her, but Mystic is peering at us from above.

And, after a wonderful day, the guy with the kidney stone made me a yummy steak dinner. Perfect perfect day.

Eliza ...(by Mama)

This morning, Gigi was making letters with Play-Doh. First, she made a J for Jordan, then an M for Mama and then a D for Daddy. She picked up the letter E and asked "Who begins with this letter?" She didn't know it was an E and didn't know that her baby sister begins with E. Was this random? Or, did her subconscious somehow know?

When I came home from work, Gigi told me that she wanted to make a picture for her baby sister. She went into the other room and shortly after, our friend came over and she sat on his lap while she started to draw. Allen and I were in the kitchen. She came running into the kitchen and asked if "Eliza likes scribbles?" She then told me that "Eliza wants to grow up to be just like you." She went back to drawing on M's lap....and then came running back into the kitchen to ask how Eliza is spelled because she wanted to write her name on the picture. After she was done drawing, she showed me her picture and said "This is my baby sister growing up". And later, she said "my baby sister is going to love this picture".

Gigi is clearly struggling with the loss of Eliza (as am I and probably always will). On the one hand, it is beautiful that she isn't forgetting her and not allowing me to (not that I could). Her innocence in all of her questions yesterday....of course, I was all in my head wondering where Gigi thinks Eliza is....does she think she is going to come back even though I told her she will not come back.

Gigi has mentioned Eliza up to 3 times per week in recent weeks. I love how important her baby sister is to her. And, yet it makes me so sad that she will never really know her other than through her imagination.

On a related note, someone very important to us thinks that there is something about the number 2. We found out on October 22nd that we were having 2 babies....and then Jordan and Eliza were born on June 22nd. Yesterday was 2/2/2011. Maybe there is something to it.