Eliza ...(by Mama)

This morning, Gigi was making letters with Play-Doh. First, she made a J for Jordan, then an M for Mama and then a D for Daddy. She picked up the letter E and asked "Who begins with this letter?" She didn't know it was an E and didn't know that her baby sister begins with E. Was this random? Or, did her subconscious somehow know?

When I came home from work, Gigi told me that she wanted to make a picture for her baby sister. She went into the other room and shortly after, our friend came over and she sat on his lap while she started to draw. Allen and I were in the kitchen. She came running into the kitchen and asked if "Eliza likes scribbles?" She then told me that "Eliza wants to grow up to be just like you." She went back to drawing on M's lap....and then came running back into the kitchen to ask how Eliza is spelled because she wanted to write her name on the picture. After she was done drawing, she showed me her picture and said "This is my baby sister growing up". And later, she said "my baby sister is going to love this picture".

Gigi is clearly struggling with the loss of Eliza (as am I and probably always will). On the one hand, it is beautiful that she isn't forgetting her and not allowing me to (not that I could). Her innocence in all of her questions yesterday....of course, I was all in my head wondering where Gigi thinks Eliza is....does she think she is going to come back even though I told her she will not come back.

Gigi has mentioned Eliza up to 3 times per week in recent weeks. I love how important her baby sister is to her. And, yet it makes me so sad that she will never really know her other than through her imagination.

On a related note, someone very important to us thinks that there is something about the number 2. We found out on October 22nd that we were having 2 babies....and then Jordan and Eliza were born on June 22nd. Yesterday was 2/2/2011. Maybe there is something to it.